Me: Can I tell you a secret?
Him: Of course. You can tell me anything.
Me: Nevermind. It's personal.
Him: You have to tell me now.
Me: No. It's personal. I'll tell my diary.
Him: I wanna read your diary.
Me: You can read it after I die.
Him: I guess I won't ever read it then cause you'll never die in my heart.
foreveralone-lyguy: I sent my dog outside for standing on the dining room table. This was his response.
multipack: excuse me mom but whoever smelt it dealt it so it is in fact YOU who’s doing the weed
itslaurenslife: keepme—wherethelightis: forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t...
gimpstoneflummies: cooln3rd: JDotRome Auction Tape Dormtainment Lmfao
bronzor: eat me out like a burrito from chipotle
64kbps: gamsee: what do you mean i cant name my son dorito because thats nacho son
cosbyykidd: I’ve always thought dimple piercing looked stupid. Especially if you dont have dimples to begin with.